Moving is often one of the most stressful and emotional life events. Try these strategies to stay calm.
Moving can be one of the most exciting times in life, but it can also be one of the most stressful. In a Zillow survey of recent movers, about half said they experienced stress (55%) and anxiety (48%) during their most recent move, and more than three quarters expressed that emotional factors tied to moving, such as stress around financial preparedness, moving with kids, or the process itself, actually had caused them to delay their move altogether.
If you can relate, know that there are ways to manage your stress. Following these tips may make reaching your destination a little easier and more rewarding — in fact, the same Zillow survey revealed that a vast majority of respondents (80%) said their most recent move was worth it.
How stressful is moving?
Research continues to show that moving is one of the most stressful life events. The combination of moving tasks like packing, sorting through your belongings, physically moving, cleaning and related expenses can be overwhelming. Plus, changing your living situation is often coupled with other stressful life changes that add to the overall anxiety of moving.
A change in your living condition is ranked 28th on the widely accepted stress inventory scale created by Holmes and Rahe. The stress inventory assigns a stress value to life events and calculates your total stress level based on the number of events you’re experiencing. Moving is not the most stressful life event according to the scale, but many events rated more stressful are precursors to moving such as the death of a spouse, marital separation or divorce, marriage, gaining a family member or changes to your job. The combination of moving and related life events can make the experience highly stressful.
Why is moving so stressful?
Moving is more than just moving day. It’s a series of complex decisions made over the course of weeks that culminate on moving day. Each decision can cause stress which may not alleviate until you’re settled in your new home.
Here are some reasons you might feel anxious about moving.
Coordinating a moving date
As a seller, you need to find a place to move and then close on that home before your house sells. As a buyer, you’re balancing an often inflexible lease alongside a competitive housing market with a lengthy closing process. And as a renter, the application process for a new unit might begin just 30-days before your current lease ends.
In fact, 58% of sellers surveyed by Zillow claimed not knowing if the home would sell within their desired time frame was stressful — the highest among the stressors that sellers reported. And the same was true for renters, 60% claimed the most stressful part of moving was finding a home within their time frame. (Zillow Consumer Housing Trends Report 2020)
Packing on a deadline
As if the scramble to find and win a home wasn’t time-consuming enough, packing can take weeks. The best practice is to sort through your belongings, purge and donate your excess and then organize the keepers. Much easier said than done.
Budgeting expenses
Zillow research determined sellers pay an average of $475 to professional movers for local moves. You can save money by minimizing your belongings before moving. However, moving trucks, moving pods, and professional movers all cost money. And the distance you move adds mileage and fuel costs.
Feeling displaced
In other times of stress, you might have a routine to decompress at home. Maybe meditation in your living room, or reading a book in your favorite chair. During a move, your home base is dismantled. Your reliable comforts are boxed. Plus, you’re likely facing some anxiety about the unknowns of your future community, routines and friendships. Moving uproots everything familiar about your life.
How to cope with moving
When preparing for a move, lean on the coping mechanisms that work best for you during stress. The seemingly endless list of tasks can feel overwhelming, but try to budget a few hours in advance of your move to map out a plan and organize your time to help streamline the process.
Below is a list of tips for managing both the emotional and tangible stressors around a big move.
Create a to-do list
A common approach to alleviate stress is to claim a bit of control over your situation and get organized. Make a list of all the tasks that need to be done for a successful move. This is a starting point to wrap your mind around the full picture, out of your head, on paper.
- Forward your address: Start with the post office and then your credit card company, loan servicers, health and car insurance providers, etc.
- Set up electricity: It can take a few days for electrical service to start.
- Set up wifi (and cable): You may need an appointment for a technician to come to the house.
- Set up water/sewer/garbage: Aim to have this running before you arrive.
- Collect packing supplies: Get more boxes than you think you need, and ask colleagues or neighborhood exchanges for free boxes.
- Cancel your current utilities: These are likely monthly bills, and you can plan for a cut-off day.
- Cancel or update your services: If you have a food delivery subscription or Amazon subscriptions, update your address or cancel them temporarily.
Create a timeline
Now that you’ve got a clear list of to-dos, start mapping them on a calendar. Can you pack the kitchen and dining room on Saturday? Be realistic to avoid an overload at the end. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start with the small things, like checking the drivetime between properties on your GPS, or packing up a single cabinet. Don’t procrastinate. Consider taking time off work to allow yourself the focus to pack purposefully.
Pack thoughtfully
If you can minimize your things as you pack, it’ll feel much lighter to unpack in your new home. Label everything you pack by room or purpose. If you hire movers, they can move your boxes to the dedicated rooms. As you pack, take photos of your assembled electronics and keep all the screws and assembly pieces for furniture and wall mounts in individual baggies.
Think about moving day; you’ll want a plate, water glass and utensils, a change of clothes, set of sheets, toothbrush, shower curtain, towel and a roll of toilet paper. Reserve a box or two with obvious labels for those immediate needs.
Create a budget
If money is one of your stressors, create a budget for the month of your move. Can you afford to eat out while your kitchen is all packed up? Do you have wiggle room for moving support? Should you host a garage sale for your give-away items?
Hire movers
Hire movers as soon as possible, but at least four weeks before the move during the summer months. If you’re not hiring movers, enlist the help of friends before their schedules fill up. Regardless of who is helping, reflect on your timeline to ensure you’re fully packed by the time your help arrives. It’s very stressful to actively pack while directing movers.
Research the new area
Chances are, you’re not moving too far away. In a recent survey, Zillow Consumer Housing Trends Report 2020, most homebuyers were making short-distance moves, either moving to a different neighborhood within the same city (36%) or moving to a new city within the same metropolitan area. Only 14% were moving to a different state. If you’re feeling a bit scared to move, try researching your new neighborhood. Check maps or drive around the area. Pick a local grocery store you think you’ll use. Check out the transit center if you commute. If you have a dog, select a park you might take them to. Or make plans to visit a local farmers market. Try to establish some routine activities to feel calmer about the relocation.
Stay positive
If you’re feeling pessimistic, turn on some uplifting music to get your energy pumping and motivate you to pack. Or stream a comedian that makes you laugh. Drink a cup of coffee or tea for a little boost. Create a positive mantra to focus on and repeat instead of negative self-talk. “I’m excited for this new chapter in my life.”
Step away for self-care
If you’re feeling quick to anger or overwhelmed by the emotional stress of moving, take a step back. You might need fuel. Leave the house; get something to eat. Take a nap or go to bed early. Start refreshed tomorrow.